Understanding Grief: A Journey of Healing

The loss of a loved one leaves an immense and complex wound upon the soul. However, through meeting grief with openness, reflection and a commitment to rebuilding love, one can emerge from darkness into light.

Allowing Grief to Teach Us

We grieve because we loved. No love, no grief. The deeper our love, the deeper our pain. Grief is the final responsibility of love - a pure expression of what we felt for those no longer with us. It is meant to teach us more about life and love than we learn in daily living. We are meant to grow around loss, keeping lessons and memories alive through sharing.

Rejecting Models That Delay Healing

While stages of grief offer clinical perspective, they presume grief has a clear beginning and end. For profound losses like a child, grief becomes a place of deep reflection I visit often. I reject “moving on” from loss, instead growing more comfortably around it over time. Many find staged models frustrating, sensing failure from repeating stages.

Extinguishing Anger to Preserve Love

I caution focusing anger, which consumes love and leaves one hollow. Look grief in the eye, knowing you grieve because someone taught you to love and be loved. Grief is an honor and privilege; we must keep precious memories alive.

Finding Distraction Through Spontaneity

Friends remained constantly at my side. Saying “yes” to any invitation led to spontaneous adventures healing my soul across four continents. Distraction through novelty and adventure helped catch my breath from deep sadness. Busy days fell into exhausted nights free from nightmares.

Transforming Grief Through Physicality

I lost interest in food but started exercising seriously. Physical activity for grief processing helped immensely. Losing 30 pounds suited me better. Getting up early for hard work fell into tired nights aiding rest. Transforming myself led away from grief.

Rediscovering Joy Through New Routines

Clearing a double garage into a “man cave” gifted distraction. Home projects as therapeutic coping. Tidying the stylish life left behind took months. My daughter treasures things kept. New routines carved space to rediscover joy amidst overwhelming loss.

Allowing Life to Steamroll Grief Over Time

While my wife remains within me, loss transforms into gratitude for our wonderful time together. My children’s lives unfold, and I will experience the joy of being a grandparent. Life proceeds, gently steamrolling even profound grief given time and openness to healing. The only choice is whether to sink or swim within the flood of feelings. I choose to swim.

Facing Grief With Grace and Courage

There is no unbearable grief - only a choice to heal or stay broken. The universe treats all equally without malice. Our pain reflects love given; emptiness calls us to give love again. We exist through grief, so our goal must be fully returning to life. How would our loved ones want us to grieve? I follow their example of finding strength through pain to love again each day despite loss. You have the courage to do the same.